Kim Schueller’s Personal Testimony of Faith
I came to know the Lord as my personal savior when I was a sophomore in high school through a group called Young Life. I knew how to obtain and seek out a relationship with Him, but never really made a total commitment to live my life in obedience to Him. Throughout college I still knew of this and knew that I needed the Lord in my life. I made several half-hearted attempts but never followed through. I read my bible periodically and seemed to talk to God only when I needed something. Still, I knew there was more. When I first got married I rarely went to church, I wasn’t interested in Catholicism nor did I feel the Catholic Church fed me or gave me what I was seeking. There had to be more, and I knew it.
Well, life happened. Kids, work, friends, several moves and just the grind of daily living. Eventually my faith and Christ got pushed to the back burner, rarely thought about. Again, I sought God only when I needed something from Him. Deep inside I knew, during a period of over ten years, that I was not in true relationship with God. I can remember sitting in Catholic mass every Sunday and wanting something more. But how? Where? When? These questions were obviously eating away at my soul but not enough to make me do anything about it.
December 1998: I have just found out my husband of 11 years has been having an affair with a good friend of mine for the past 6 months. My comfortable world, as I knew it, had completely been ripped apart. Things that I thought were certain; kids, a loving husband, trust, honesty, family, friends, future plans, faithfulness, were suddenly unknown to me. The last six months of my life had been filled with lies, betrayal, distrust, anger – it all started making perfect sense. I was left with so many unknowns – what do I do now? What do you do? I didn’t know. The next two weeks were filled with the continuation of the affair and the nasty details. Just when I thought the worst was over; some ugly truth would rear its head. It was time; JANUARY 10, 1999, I DEDICATED MY LIFE TO THE LORD.
The one thing I knew for sure was that God was waiting for me. That very first night I sat down at my bed, sobbing as I opened my bible. I don’t even remember what I read, but the Lord was there for me. I didn’t know what I needed from Him – just that I needed Him and He was there with open arms.
Isaiah 30:18 Yet the Lord still waits for you to come to Him, so He can show you His love; He will conquer you to bless you, just as He said. For the Lord is faithful to His promises. Blessed are those who wait for Him to help them.
As hard as it was, and there were times I felt so hopeless and alone, I knew God was the answer. Never once did I think the world could offer me something to fix my situation. During that time I never stopped crying, I never stopped praying, I never stopped worshiping, and I never stopped reading His word. I kept pressing in harder and harder. Praying more, worshiping more, and reading the bible more.
My journey has led me into the darkest tunnels and lowest valleys. Most days I never saw the light in those tunnels or the sun in the valleys, but through it all, Jesus never left me. He carried me, comforted me and held me through most of it. There were many times I cried out to Him for understanding and guidance; “tell me what to do.” The answers never came according to my timing, but He never abandoned me. Most times I worshiped Him with tears and sadness, rarely with smiles and joy.
Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock in whom I take refuge.
Perseverance is a true gift from God. I give all the glory to Him – my weakness is too great to ever have made it without His loving kindness and guidance and faithfulness. I believe my testimony is one of perseverance and trust. God revealed Himself to me more times than I could count; through prayer, His word, and His promises. It was a very painful experience, one I would not want to live over but one I wouldn’t change either, as it has brought me into a full relationship with Christ. A relationship of love, surrender, trust, and obedience. Jesus has brought me the peace that can only be known through Him.
Psalm 66:8-12 Let everyone bless God and sing His praises, for He holds our lives in His hands, and He holds our feet to the path. You have purified us with fire oh Lord, like silver in a crucible. You captured us in Your nets and laid great burdens on our backs. You sent troops to ride across our broken bodies. We went through fire and flood, but in the end You brought us into wealth and great abundance.
Jesus offered me His living water, the only thing that could have quenched my thirst and my pain. I will never thirst again.
John 4:14 “But whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”
I implore you to seek out the Lord. If He is not already the center of your life, invite Him into your heart today and start living for Jesus Christ. He is waiting with open arms for you to come to Him.